The Lord’s Spotify Playlist

Guatemala, Honduras, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Columbia, Ecuador. 

At training camp, I received these six countries with joy and amazement. The Lord likes surprises; I was convinced because Ecuador was our sixth month. After fighting to get me into the mission field, the Lord was finally taking me to the place He called me to: Ecuador.

Being the country that the Lord had put on my heart from the very beginning, Ecuador had become the finish line. As each month passed by, I clung to the idea that one day I would find myself in the mountains of Ecuador, finally living out the life God had called me to. Or at least that’s what I thought. 

But, like I said, the Lord likes surprises. Why do I say that, you ask? 

Plot Twist: We are now going to ALBANIA?!? 

Our leadership just told us at the beginning of the week that due to COVID restrictions, our trips to Columbia, Ecuador, and Peru (which had recently been added to the list) were rerouted. Instead, we are now going to Eastern Europe, which is cool, unless your whole reason for joining the Race was Ecuador. 

Now do you get where I’m going? 

I was shocked, completely thrown off guard. I mean, Albania wasn’t even an option on our list, but here we are about to leave for Europe in two days. And what was I supposed to do about Ecuador? How did the Lord expect me to live out my calling outside of the country He gave me? If He wanted me to go to Albania, why didn’t He just say that? 

Now that I’m standing on the other side of this announcement, having three days to process the change, I have a list of several questions, wondering why the Lord chooses to work in the ways He does. But, in that moment, after the bomb dropped on our squad, the only thought I had was Come What May. 

Come What May

Before I left for the Race, I was gathering the ultimate adventure, Christ-minded playlist that I would consider my anthem for this year of my life. Little did I know that the Lord would, of course, make a playlist of His own, but to be honest, I’m not that surprised anymore. Music is important to me, and I often cling to songs as a way of processing or understanding things that come up in life. 

So, when I heard Come What May by We Are Messengers for the first time, I was terrified. The song goes:  

In every high, in every low

On mountain tops, down broken roads

You’re still my rock, my hope remains

I’ll rest in the arms of Jesus

Come what may 

As you can probably imagine, willingly inviting difficult times to come into my life wasn’t the most reasonable thing to think of as I prepared myself for the year to come. I already had enough problems, and I couldn’t possibly imagine inviting more. In fact, I went as far as to say that I would never agree with Come What May because it was just too scary to think about. 

Oh, the irony. If I didn’t think I had grown the last four months, this moment alone is proof enough of God’s work in my life. In a moment where Pre-Race Caitlyn would have fallen apart and crumbled under the weight of worry and fear, Month 4 Caitlyn dares to speak the words Come What May. 

Yes, Albania came out of nowhere; I don’t think anyone on our squad was remotely prepared to receive that route change. But, as I’m preparing to board a plane in two days destined for a country completely out of my comfort zone, I rest in the fact that my hope remains in Jesus and in His arms I find peace. 

Godsend 

So, we listened to the first song on God’s playlist for me and now find ourselves wondering why the Lord has decided to throw in this last minute curveball. What could He possibly be thinking by changing our plan? We had it all figured (sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell). The reality is He had it all figured out; I was just the victim of my own imagination. 

That’s why when Godsend by Riley Clemmons shuffled up next, I was reminded of His deliberate plan for our lives. When I thought I had everything figured out, the Lord gently reminded me that I don’t have to worry about planning things out on my own. I don’t have to be overcome with whether or not things work out according to the faulty plan I drew up for myself to stay within the lines of my comforts. 

Rather, the song proposes another idea: 

Every closed door, every single sharp thorn

Every answer that didn’t make sense

What if maybe

They were just teaching me to depend on

Your strength in the dark days

All my tears got me crying out to You again

What if maybe

Every broken place I’ve been was a Godsend?

A Godsend

It was a Godsend

What if at this moment right now my change to Albania was a test of trust? A moment where the Lord is asking me to trust Him, despite the discomfort I know I will experience. What if I looked at the change as another opportunity to depend more on Him rather than my insufficient will? What if, for the first time, I willingly step into the growth that the Lord is offering? 

The Lord isn’t saving me from Colombia or Ecuador; He’s saving me from myself and sending me an opportunity to step into discomfort with Him. 

Take One Step

Track 3: Take One Step by Tatiana Manaois. 

At this point in my late-night jam session with the Lord, I recognized the peace He provided and the hope for change He planted in my heart. The only thing left to sort out was my decision. The ball was in my hands, and I needed to decide whether I was going to shoot my shot or pass the ball. 

If the lyrics before weren’t obvious enough, Take One Step definitely hit the nail on the head. The song says: 

Holding on to you, it’s like going overseas

With zero preparation, but then you said to me (then you said)

That my love is an ocean, and I’m who oversees

Your every situation, so come along with me (come along with me)

You said I’ll show you the way

That’s only if you let me (I’ll show you the way)

Since I’ve been knowing you for so long, I know you’re ready

Take one step

That’s all I need for you to do

These lyrics literally scream my name. Don’t believe me? Go read my blogs before. Everything about this Race can be simply boiled down into these three stanzas. 

So, I find myself at a very critical moment in my life: to shoot or to pass. And, it’s with my bold reckless love for the Lord that I take that step and shoot. 

See ya in Albania, folks!